i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
