The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize