so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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