its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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