We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
