At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
