dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
