you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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