Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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