Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
