I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
