She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
