Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
