i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
