Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
