He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
