One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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