Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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