turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Randomize
