im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
