I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
