I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
