If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so let's talk penis.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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