Well apparently he's into motor boating.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
