fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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