Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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