This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
