so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
