Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
