I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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