wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
