Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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