Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
