and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
