better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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