Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
There's even glitter on my cock...
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