She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We left the knife in your bed.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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