I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize