I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
