the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
