I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
