omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
And then he peed in my hair
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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