Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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