Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
