She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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