She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
