Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
