some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize