Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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