have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
