I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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