And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
