my being single is dangerous.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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