When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
