Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize