remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
