I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
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