Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
