Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
