Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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