um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize