ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My bed smells like the plague
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
