hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
