Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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