try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
