***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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