We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
