Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
