You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
