i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
