my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
