so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ladies don't puke and tell
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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