I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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