Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
