I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
