i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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